woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
