we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize