I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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