You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
