So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
