how can u be prego again
I can text with my tongue
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
