I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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