If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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