That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
