I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
