Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
