You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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