I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
