My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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