dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize