i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
