It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
