Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
