i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
