so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize