I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
