thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
