Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
