Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
