I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Randomize
