Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
