dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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