We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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