Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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