I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
