Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
