Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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