Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
