walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
whose parrot is this?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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