am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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