Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
