im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
