Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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