I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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