It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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