Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
