3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
