you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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