So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize