Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
