So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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