MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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