I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
