I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
