I wanna bring you to show and tell
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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