How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
