the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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