Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
