??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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