Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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