I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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