come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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