I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
