One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize