dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
how drunk are you?
Several
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
