FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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