Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
