Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I won't apologize to a one balled man
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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