Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
