It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
