was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
