I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
