Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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