You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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