remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
