Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
