he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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