i barfeds in our rink
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
