Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's rum buckets o'clock
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
