So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
