Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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