There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
