Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize